Happy "Birthday"!

Today our family celebrates a birthday. Not a physical birthday, but a spiritual birthday that represents the renewal of our family. Today marks one year of sobriety for Stephen! While this is not the first year of sobriety he has ever celebrated, it is the most significant. 

You see, one year ago I received a phone call that I never in a million years expected to receive and I had a decision to make. My immediate concern was for my girls and I and I acted on that and made quick decisions to protect us at all costs. I had people close to me offering varied opinions and advice into a situation none of us had much experience with. About three days in, thanks to advice from a dear friend, I chose to just pray. Not make decisions, just pray and keep life going for the girls and I one day at a time.  As I began the routine of just praying, God provided answers.  The first time I talked to Stephen it was clear from the sound of his voice, God was providing answers to him too. I didn't think at that point our answers would work together but I chose to pray. 

About two weeks into the ordeal, I heard the Steven Curtis Chapman song "Glorious Unfolding". I sobbed in my car listening to the words that I felt were pouring out of my heart on the radio. And then I heard the chorus "there is so much of the story that's still left to be told...you've just got to believe the story is so far from over...just you wait and see and you will be amazed." I remember thinking to myself okay. So the first part of the song, YES TOTALLY ME!! But be amazed?! How was God going to use this mess? How were we even going to get out of this mess? Much less be amazed by it.  

Only those closest to us knew anything was out of the ordinary.  But those closest to us, Held us. They held us in prayer, in strength, and physically held us. Without these dear friends I would be typing a very different story today. They believed on the days that I couldn't. They cried the tears that I couldn't and caught the ones that I could cry. They prayed the prayers for redemption that I couldn't pray. They prayed for Stephen's strength and believed in him when I couldn't.  

 And God used this mess.  He used it as the broken pieces of a life to draw us closer to Him.  

We were forced to put the words in James 4:7-10 to work in our lives: "So let God work his will in you.  Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper.  Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin.  Purify your inner life.  Quit playing the field.  HIT BOTTOM, CRY YOUR EYES OUT.  The fun and games are over.  Get serious, really serious.  Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." 

On our knees with a quiet Yes to God.  That is where we were.  

I was at home on my knees saying "God I believe you will keep the girls and I safe.  I need clear direction from you on if my life will be that of a single mom or a married mom."  
Stephen was not at home but on his knees, saying a quiet yes to God that sounded more like "HELP ME.  I will do it, just help. I surrender." 

God took our prayers and began working in both of our hearts.   When Stephen was able to come home, it was like a completely new family.  God took our cries of brokenness and surrender and used them to make our marriage different and stronger.  Every single day we both continue these prayers and these efforts and everyday he comes home.  

Has it been sunshine, roses and rainbows? Absolutely not.  But I would not change it.  It put us in a position of needing and longing for God in ways we never had before.  Apparently we are both really slow learners!! The amazing things that are happening out of this part of our story to bring glory to Him are worth it.  

Happy Birthday Stephen!  Thank you for working so hard day in and day out and the sacrifices you make for yourself, God's glory and our family.  We are so proud of you and grateful for what God is doing in and through you!