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Today I watched a little girl hurl herself off of a ladder and into an inflatable pool full of plastic balls. The joy and excitement on her face matched the joy and excitement in my heart as I watched her do something that just a few short months ago, she was TERRIFIED of and would have never even considered. She then proceeded to fly down a slide and fling her body into the middle of an inner tube suspended from the ceiling and swing like a bird flying through the air. No fear, no caution, just joy and fun! This is typical 5 year old behavior and we are delighted that Olive is experiencing it.
Olive has always been very cautious, careful and pretty fearful. We always wrote this off as her personality until last summer when it became painfully clear her anxiety and meltdowns were more than typical 4 year old behavior. We went to our pediatrician and he agreed that her behaviors may need some additional attention. We were referred to an angel of a child psychologist and we began seeing her weekly. She did testing on Olive and we found out that not only did she indeed suffer from extreme anxiety, but that she had severe sensory issues (anyone who has ever had a meal with her is shaking their heads yes right now) and that she in fact has Sensory Processing Disorder.
WHOA. This sent our heads spinning. I was somewhat familiar with SPD and had had kids in my classroom with sensory issues, so I had a basic understanding. But what I hadn't seen with those kids was what they were like at home, how hard their parents worked 24-7, how exhausted their parents were because of all of the modifications and accommodations that you naturally make on a daily basis, not to keep peace but to actually SURVIVE. Our therapist referred us to an Occupational Therapist who is also a true angel and Olive began seeing her once a week as well. The first few months I think we walked around in a fog, overwhelmed by scheduling multiple therapies a week and "voodoo" words like bone conduction therapy, modulated music, regulation and grounding. A few weeks later special headphones arrived in the mail and we started conducting music therapy at home for 30 minutes each day. Overwhelmed doesn't even do it justice.
But then slowly, we started noticing little changes. She could get dressed in the morning without the fear of people laughing at her. She could handle having a misunderstanding with a friend and not have a complete meltdown over it. She could handle disappointments a little easier. She stopped having multiple meltdowns every single day. The best day was when a close friend of mine said "I can't believe the changes I see in Olive! She is so relaxed and able to have fun. She even looks different." It was music to my tired and weary soul to hear someone say they could see it. We are in so deep it is hard to see the changes daily.
She also said "the stress and worry and scheduling and confusion and work you and Stephen have put into getting her the help she needs is obviously paying off." I could have cried right then and there. The same friend who had last summer told me to my face "I think there is more going on here, I would talk to the doctor" could see the changes! I am so thankful for her and her willingness to be honest with me about the good and the not so good.
So for now, we will continue our routine of therapy, OT and music therapy at home and will probably be adding a crazy weird bone conduction therapy at home soon. It doesn't make sense and I am pretty sure it isn't supposed to, we just know it is helping our precious girl and we couldn't be happier.
I feel like the journey we are on now is so telling of how we all are with God. A situation arises in our life and we of course immediately panic. Just being real here friends, I would like to say I don't panic, I immediately turn to God. But the truth is I panic first. Baby Steps. So God has to remind us AGAIN for the gazillionth time that he is in control. But he doesn't do this by fixing our situation or changing it immediately. He sends helpers into our path. In Olive's case, these helpers are a therapist, an OT and her amazing teacher, as well as patient friends. For me the same people were helpers along with precious friends who encouraged me and pray for her daily. He sends us these helpers so that we can continue walking in our situation, without them it might be easier to just stop.
He then sends peace in the form of little reminders. It is his way of telling us "I got this!" For us in this situation, there have been so many, including having a full day with no tears. This is something a year ago I didn't feel would ever happen but now happens on a regular basis and I have to thank God each time for the reminder. When we walk hand in hand with Him and truly trust and believe that He is in control, he will show us this over and over again.
He also proves his mighty greatness and control by doing abundantly more than we could ever dream or imagine. He promises us this in his word and it is true. We do not know where Olive's journey will lead her, but we do know who is in control of her journey and that he has plans for her that are INCREDIBLE. She's a world changer, this one. We are trusting Him for it to be true.
